‘Heartache Journal’ is going to be a series where each month I’ll share some thoughts close to my heart in a journal style of post.

What does the heart ache for? 

It was bothering me a lot- my heart!
It was in pain and showed signs of heartache, 
It was restless for a resting place.
…….
The past brings memories- the unpleasantries! 
It was the journal and a few pages in it, 
It was burned and now the smoke gathers it’s storms. 
© Binita

Voices in my head

 

The heartache journal - Voices in my head
The heartache journal – Voices in my head

The voices in my head are the vices of my life. They hit me when I’m low, they pull me down and force me to stay down. They feed me lies and half truths which are worse than the lies. There have been times  when I was hurt, betrayed and abandoned. But those times didn’t last forever, they came and they left. But the voices won’t let bygones be bygones. They won’t let the memories, which neither has power nor any cause, fade away!

They slow their tempo after a while, after they have left their shadows where once was light and a few dreams. But I know they are coming back louder again, soon may be. I know how the voices deceive me of the truth I deserve and because I know the truth is within me, I will fight and overshadow your shadow with the light that is in me and the light that is me.

Last Thoughts

Every once in a while I get paralyzed by some negative thoughts or hurtful memories. During that phase life feels like a drag and a bad dream. I do not like this thought pattern, not just because it’s negative but this makes me ignore or take for granted all the wonderful blessings of my life.

I’m going to try and be logical instead of emotional the next time this phase or negative thought pattern returns for me.

💭 Do you ever get stuck in any negative thought patterns?

Please do share your thoughts. 

Thank you, Educated unemployed Indian blog

Published by educated unemployed indian

Hello, my name is Binita and I’m a qualified teacher. I was educated to be employed by the authority members of my family, unfortunately I have disappointed them! These days they say, I'm upto no good! For this year I have skipped job search to test my creative skills in the (virtual) world. Clearly, I'm upto no good but my intentions are very much!

34 thoughts on “The Heartache Journal – A Series”

  2. I can identify with your truth here. Often my experience is that I will remember a time when I have through lack of paying attention to the needs of another, I have a memory of pain that I have inflicted. I instinctively say”I love you” not knowing what I can do to lose the poison. Your explanation touches that part.

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  6. Reblogged this on My Life on the Chicago # 36 Bus and commented:
    Here is another reblog from my friend “educated unemployed Indian” that touches deeply on an area of mental pain for me. follow to his site and see more of his mental gifts.

    Liked by 3 people

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  10. This is really relatable. Even though we seem to get over our past, it still haunts us from time to time. I think one thing to do is to keep yourself occupied with what you really enjoy doing (writing, drawing, reading…) & you’ll start finding happiness in the present. 🙂

    I also wrote a poem (but im still an amateur), it’ll be great to have your opinions (good/bad!)

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  12. It’s a nice post. It shares the deepest dark feelings some of us may relate to….and my negatives are so much touchy that while trying to explain them I fell short of words and get lost in the dryness for another commit days….I am not sure for how long but then everything is gloomy ….but then listening to one’s heart is good idea….Because mind is an empty and numb space.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I’m glad you like the post & that you think it’s a good idea to share what’s in my heart. Sometimes it’s hard to understand one’s own thoughts but when one does it helps to manage life better. By writing & sharing in this journal I’m just trying to do that.

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